Grantmo

Teachers end up teaching in Dual Language programs in many different ways and through different avenues. I grew up in an English speaking family in Oregon and I studied French in High School and Spanish in college and went to Spain to study, as many people do. When I started teaching, I got my degree teaching English to Speakers of Other Languages, what is now called English Language Development. My master’s degree was in TESOL and I got a endorsement in bilingual education because I knew the power of bilingual education from having studied it as an undergraduate student in the 90’s. I never questioned the value of teaching students in two languages, regardless of what language they speak at home.

The struggle for me was that I did not want to teach Spanish or represent a culture and language that was not my own, even though I had become fluent in Spanish. I originally didn’t get my endorsement to teach Spanish for this reason even though I was accepted into the program based on my level of fluency in Spanish.

How did I become so fluent in Spanish? I lived in Ecuador for five years and married an Ecuadorian and during my fifteen years of marriage we spoke Spanish at home with each other and with our two children. He spoke very little English when we first met and my Spanish was quite fluent and as he learned English we continued to speak more Spanish than English together.

When we moved to the states, with a baby on the way, and a husband who didn’t speak much English or have a degree that was recognized in the United States, I was asked if I would like to teach Language Arts and History in Spanish. I quickly added on an endorsement in Language Arts, Social Studies and Spanish and that was how my career as a Dual Language teacher began. I needed a job and had the skills that were highly sought after.

That was sixteen years ago, and despite a couple of attempts to leave this specific line of teaching, I keep being pulled back to do it.

I am reminded regularly that I am a “gringa” teaching in Spanish. I have often apologized for my accent, errors in my language and my lack of cultural heritage, background and lived experience as a non-native Spanish speaker. I have been complimented on my Spanish and my teaching approaches, I have mentored teachers in the field and been asked to share my expertise, and I have also been made to feel like this is a place in education where I do not belong. For me, all of these things have been true at the same time.

I have felt very honored to work with amazing latino educators who have supported me in my work and profession along the way and I will always be grateful for what they have offered in acceptance, kindness, knowledge and understanding.

I have also engaged deeply in my work around racial and cultural equity. I have been on the lookout for blindspots and biases and worked to stay humble and keep learning.

Over the last few years, I have begun asking myself again if this is really the profession for me. I have gotten to see former Latino students move into teaching jobs and work along side them. This has been very heartfelt work for me and I feel like the real mark of success as a teacher is seeing them succeed and take this work and move it forward.

I spent the last three years applying for jobs outside the area of Middle School Dual Language in administration, school management, and Language Arts and Social Studies in English. I haven’t gotten the jobs I have applied for, but this summer I was again offered two different jobs teaching Language Arts in Spanish at the Middle School level. It is work that I love and I am still committed to doing, therefore I will continue on this path for now.

When I write and share what I know, I want it to be clear that my work is from a place of experience, work and learning. It is not from a place of feeling like I have all of the answers, especially as it relates to language and culture. I am a lifelong learner and I continue to learn.

Just yesterday, I made a mistake in class and a student corrected me. I wrote “Sé mucha las matemáticas” and she said “Maestra, es ‘Sé mucho las matemáticas'”. Ugh, she was right. I always want to make all of my adjectives correspond to my nouns. I gave her a high five and an extra star on her punchcard and said “bien hecho”. It happens and even though I try to do well in all I do, I still make mistakes. Sharing my writing makes me feel vulnerable, but it is still my work, my career and my profession. Entonces, pa’lante.